butterfly

Sweet and tender being, you take me to deep wonderings of soul.   During your time through soil you devour everything that you encounter along your way, growing ten thousand times your size in a brief period of time.   Nothing distracts you from the steps that you take onto the new world that awaits for you.

I find myself crawling among this world devouring everything that comes along my way, in the hope to create a false grandiose self I think I need to become. Is there a world out there waiting on my arrival?

Predators threaten you but you don´t  seem to be disturbed by them. It seems like your own personal nature is the only thing that moves you. You know there will be a day that you will come to the threshold of pause, but you never pray that this day comes sooner.

Predators hunt me down too. Their biggest weapons are the words they use that burn me to ashes. I cannot but turn and see them in the eye in the hope that I can find a way to befriend them. Unlike you, I deviate from my goal and follow the path I hear they want me to take.   But oh the call of the pause is too strong to forget. My body soon reaches the time for the pause but I force myself to wait a little longer. I resist my pause, I know it is needed, but my new path seems to have taken over and all I can do is to continue eating this world away. I can´t stop, I want to and I cant find the way back to my simple way of being.

The day comes, sure enough in which you take yourself into the dark pause.   You weave yourself dlligently into the calm, into the silence, into the trust.

I dream of the day when I can give myself the gift of going into the calm. Fear is too big for me to drop into trust. I cling to those things that give me false sense of confidence as my soul cries in its desire to convince me to let go and dive into the the darkness of the unknown.

Soon the space is too small to hold you in your new dimensions and you struggle and fight to release yourself of your own woven place you once called home. You discover your new strengths and you take flights without remorse of leaving behind what you once had and where you once belonged. Your path is now a path of the sweet. You land swiftly on the colors of pink, yellow, blue, violet and red. The sweet nectar is where you pose and the only thing that is worth your visit and time.

I wonder how I can leave behind everything that I have worked so hard to accomplish. I feel weak if I am not among those who make me feel strong and I fail to embrace my own sense of the ability to fly. The chains of dependence drag me down and I crawl in the dirt where I no longer want to remain. My wings flap with the intent to take flight, but the fear of the heights convinces me to remain in the comfort of the familiar.

I dream of the sweet. I dream of the colorful palette of life and a world full of shapes, scents and tastes I was born to indulge in. Butterfly? Will you show me the way?

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